So it happened sooner than expected..
We became friends..yes..just normal friends and I really didn't expect it to happen so quick..hmm
I guess I just got tired of trying and in return I don't get any results which puts out the fire in me day by day..
Till today I still wished something would've happen..still wished he'd change his mind..but it got worst..in fact he's moving on pretty smoothly with no regrets it seems.. Adding more friends on snapchat which I can guess is definitely girls..who he's interested or vice versa.. I no longer feel special in his life anymore.. which made me realise it is really over now and there is no turning back..me not moving on is just like the remora species sucking onto a shark or a turtle..and its pretty exhausting for me.. I guess the people who comes into your life for a certain period of time are here to teach you lessons..some people are just part of the chapter of your book of life, for you to learn a lesson and move forward to the next chapter with a stronger mindset. Its a shame things didn't work out but I keep reminding myself, things happen for a reason and those who are meant to be in your life will eventually stick around.. If I really mattered and he really cares.. a person would make the effort to do so..not just sit around cause if you don't fight for your goals or dreams, nothing will come your way..nothing good comes easy thats for sure and relationships are definitely a battle..and in this relationship I lost the battle as and when he lost his interest in me..
So Thank god I have a job to keep myself busy and my mind away from overthinking..I can care less by just focusing on my job..Staying back doing extra shifts rather than going home to sulk..and by the time I'm home I just knock out in bed.. It may seem bad but for the heartbroken babies out there, here's a little tip for you! Keep yourself busy, whether with work or hanging out with friends..just do something.. Its really bad to stay home all alone.. just makes you depressed. I know for a fact that recently a friend of mine who got her heartbroken by some jerk over dose herself with pills and ended up in the hospital due to over thinking. Sometimes the pain is just so bad that its hard to take it all in and when you want it all to just end..you do the stupidest things.. I just wish the other party would know exactly how the pain feels cause if you have never experienced the pain before you will never know how to appreciate the love a person renders to you. Or well if you had experience such pain but still decide to hurt a person then hey, you're just a heartless piece of shit.
I am just grateful that this relationship wasn't like the previous ones I had.. Those were way nastier.. This was a little bit bad but bearable at least or maybe I just grew stronger from the bad experiences I had. Either way.. I'm grateful I can handle my feelings better than before. Though it still hurts, I still am curious everyday of his whereabout or what he's up to but I stop myself from asking and I just block those poisonous thoughts out from my mind..soon my heart gets numb and I guess the feelings will just die out anyways.. Just takes time! Its a long and hard process but I know I'll be able to go through it just like any other relationships and when the time comes I know I'll be able to look back and smile to the wonderful memories we had together and face front to continue my journey again..
Ending my thoughts here today..
until then! CIAO! xx
