I'm wondering too for the fact that it's our first time trying it at the same time..
Honestly what I can say now is, after being 2 weeks apart from each other..so much emotions has been felt..I don't know about him but for me..a train wreck..
The countless worries floods my head..Wondering what he's doing..how is this going to work..
considering the fact that I couldn't go over to see him..the fact that he might be talking to girls more then me.. The sudden 360 degree change burns me in every way..He doesn't seem to want to talk to me as often as he did..or so I thought. He doesn't seem so enthusiastic talking to me anymore what more me coming over to visit him? The idea seems to scare him and it gives me the feeling that he doesn't know what he wanted yet and he's not so sure about me.. It felt like it was just me trying to keep the conversation between us alive and that he wasn't putting any effort into US.
This scares me to the core..
And the thought of why would I want to spend my time waiting for someone to love me back from 6293miles away when I could get someone here in Singapore to love me and want me as I desired? What am I fighting for? Why do I wanna stay? I guess when you have feelings on someone its just hard to just let go.. I don't want to push him away like I did before.. I don't wanna run away from the pain that haunts me from my past.. Being afraid of the pain is part of the process it seems. If I don't buck up my belt and enter this emotional war zone.. I will never know if we will work out..I will never know if I have just accidentally let go of the one thing that makes butterflies flutter in my stomach. I have once again made a mistake of falling for a person before they actually do. I have once again made myself step into a position where HURT is tend to happen. But since I'm here now..All I can do is to stay strong..know what I want, fight for it and in the end if it doesn't work out..
It won't be my fault cause we tried and didn't run away..It was just probably the wrong timing or I've just happen to have dated another guy who doesn't know what he wants yet.
So, 2 weeks..all the crying, deep thoughts, worrying, talking to people.. I got my answer..
Someone once told me " why try to worry and control something that is way out of your league?"
You can't do anything now..so why waste your time being negative when you can be happy..Think of this time as a time where you can finally have time to do anything you want alone..something like living the single life only that your partner is 6000miles away.. That's what I'm doing now..just take it easy..dont pressure your partner.. he might just be overwhelmed with everything going on there..6 months of not seeing friends and family, 6 months of not being at a place where he grew up? He needs some catching up.. Let's put it this way, give him space, if he really have feelings for you, eventually he will check up on you..eventually he will realise he misses you and comes back to make things work.. and if he doesn't? why would you wanna hold on to something that doesn't even value your existence? The day you step into a LDR is the day you're putting yourself out for the risk of heartbreaks..but there are chances that it might work out too..so don't loose hope..and the key point is to TRUST.
When my friends asks me " Aren't you afraid he would cheat on you? Download tinder again? Flirt with other girls? Date other girls? Have sex with them?" Asian and caucasian culture is so different..How can you deal with it?? My reply was simple.." Well there's nothing much I can do, I don't know for sure what he's doing neither would I wanna know cause if really he did something, it is just gonna hurt me. The thing is to just TRUST." He made his promise and I believe he is a man of his words. If he said he won't cheat he won't. I believe if he didn't wanna have anything to do with me he would tell me, but for the fact that he stayed despite me being pushy all the time means something. He's always been straightforward and if he doesn't wanna do something he would say it out. But he didn't. Meaning he still wants me around. Conclusion is to just go with the flow and take things easy..if its going to work out eventually it will.. Even though we might not be talking much or he seems to not be so interested in texting right now... Time will prove everything..he might just be in a phase of confusion or some mid 20's crisis.
Yes it hurts knowing your partner doesn't wanna engage with you so often unlike before..but what can you do? Why live your life according to his? If he can live his own life without even letting you be in his way then why do you wanna let him be in your way of your life? As much as you wanna be close to him it doesn't seem to be happening.. Go out! Hang out with your friends, Drink, Smoke, have fun, sleep when you need to, he will come back if he really wants you..he will spark up conversations like how he used to do when he wanted you to be his so badly before. You Don't have to try so hard and keep texting him..let things come naturally..it will work out eventually.. Its like a rubber band..when you pull too hard eventually it breaks.. No rush, take time, see how it goes.. Trust the respect between you two.. if you respect him he will respect you, and if he breaks the trust by going behind your back then it proves he just another Jackass selfish bastard and you don't want this kind of man in your life do you? So LDR is not so bad after all.. it tests you and your partner. Helps both of you see the clear picture of whether you want to be together..see the bad habits and bad side of a person. tests your patience and trust with one another. So don't worry ladies.. take a deep breath.. be the strong woman we are..be happy.. don't overthink and just live life to the fullest ok?
Love keeps one going
Long-distance romance can change a person’s life and in many ways my life is changed. My social life seems largely the same as I go about my daily chores but a lot has changed. It is impossible to text or call him randomly to ask whether he wants to go for a drink, spend the night or whether to take her to dinner or a movie, let alone surprise him with gifts.
Long-distance romance can change a person’s life and in many ways my life is changed. My social life seems largely the same as I go about my daily chores but a lot has changed. It is impossible to text or call him randomly to ask whether he wants to go for a drink, spend the night or whether to take her to dinner or a movie, let alone surprise him with gifts.
Something needs to happen and eventually something will but determining when to move is very tricky. We are still in the dating stage. It seems to me that stress and anxiety are measured in the long term. If I am in a successful long-term relationship or marriage with my boyfriend, these will seem like trivial things worried over too much and I will ask myself why didn’t I live in the moment more. If the relationship does not work out, I might ask myself why did I put myself willingly through so much pain and anxiety. The only answer I can think of is that my boyfriend makes me happy and I love him and sometimes you need to take a gamble in life to realise what its worth for.
Signing off! xx
