Hey guys,
So days has passed when my baby boo has left this beautiful city of lights.. His last few days here wasn't exactly the best partly cause of me over reacting and filling his bedsheets with tears. How crazy can a man make a woman huh? Regretting it now but it's too late to turn back.. But at least I tried to make the most out of it the last night we had together :) I kept my promise and I'm proud of myself!
So here's the deal.. when life comes crashing down on you and suddenly you feel lost.. fret not and just believe something out there way better is coming your way! As weak as I feel now, I finally decided to wake up and not mellow in self pity on whether things will work out or about me losing my job etc. Just go with the flow.. keep a positive mind.. everything happens for a reason and never stop believing! When a door closes another one always opens..
Heading out in this world with no sense of direction isn't really the greatest plan but I've been executing it for a while now and there's no way of turning back.. So today when I woke up.. staring at my baby's messages to me.. I realise I'm losing myself again..like how I did the last time with my ex.. I wanna contribute as much as I can and I desperately want us to work out until I am on the verge of losing myself! NO THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN! No way! So I woke up telling myself.. yes I am confused now.. I lost my compass and now I have no sense of direction! But I'm not going to give up.. I'm not going to depend on a man hoping he will give me solutions cause I'm sure he has his own problems..I don't wanna be spoon fed..I am independant and strong! I will find my way back to a great career again.. and I will find my way back to the kind of love I deserve.. Just go with the flow.. don't expect things and just keep an open mind!
If he really likes me he will stay, he will make us work.. everything will automatically fall into place! I don't wanna force anything anymore.. I want us to take the slow and steady route.. No more rushing.. And if things don't work out in the end, at least we had a good time together! Melanie has to change and has to see life in a whole new perspective ! Whatever is meant to be will eventually be.. No more drama.. Throwing my past behind and I'm looking forward for new adventures :)
It's time to grow up! ;)
Signing off!
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