Deja vu

Again problems like this arose...
The thing that kills me most in the inside..
The thing that brings out my weakest point in me...
The most sensitive issue that tears me apart...
It feels like deja vu..

But I keep telling myself.. girl, you gotta be strong..face it with guts and no tears...don't let this happen again...don't get yourself smothered into shit like this...

So here am I to the only place I can let out my feelings...it feels like I'm telling someone...a Listener...my blog...

Why does men like to lie? Why do they only find me for one reason? Is there a word FUCK ME on my forehead? Why?
can anyone answer me?

I'm getting tired of hearing all these lies and phoney sweet talks just to get me laid... I really hope that none of these people ever stumble on me again...which I know clearly It's impossible...I haven't even go onboard yet...n I'm already running into people like this...what more when work starts...can someone save me from all this shadows of lies and phoney people? I'm tired...I don't know when will I rip apart..I need help...is there anyone out there who can save me? T.T

I just want a simple relationship...
How is it that I can't meet anyone as pure as an angel, as true as a bible? I hate complications...it hurts...everytime I see couples so sweet together...you know how envious I am? To those couples out there..please...cherish and appreciate the man next to you...It's not easy to find a true heart nowadays..

Makes me wanna turn the time back to when everything is so simple and naive.. when there's people around me that has no intentions and appears purely infront of me...

And when I look back to my first ever relationship... though it ended unpleasant, but I kinda miss the sweet moments I have with you...I kinda miss it when there's someone always there for me.. to love me and support me...to accompany me shopping and cook meals for me when I'm hungry...and when u started chatting with me again...it was an awkward feeling...but at least we're friends now...It's really Sad.. what happened to us...just Sad...

And after an experience with you and all the other previous guys...I realised...the men I'm looking at now are wayy much scarier.. so scary with very ugly intentions...It's so scary to face it all alone...can someone just lend me a hand n save me from this terrible nightmare...I'm pleading... please... one day...let me bump into this person...whoever he may be..  to pull me  away from this terrible nightmare... How much more shit must I go through to find my one and only?! I'm suffocating..

Stop lying infront of my face...It hurts tremendously to see the guy you had hopes with..the one I thought could revive me..to suddenly lie infront of my face and act as If Nothing is wrong...making up more shitty stories to cover up...It's pointless...do you really think I'm stupid? I know What's going on...I know what u told others...I know..so stop asking me why I'm so cold to you...If u didn't do anything wrong u won't be scared...don't bullshit! My level of tolerance is limited...

T.T

Say something..I'm giving up on you..
I'm swallowing my pride..
You're the one I love.. but I'm gonna say goodbye..