And the adventures begins..

My cheesy pick up line on tinder says;
" Let's go on an adventure together aye? ;)"
He said, " let's do it! "
I wasn't so convinced at first but I said ok anyways and never did regretted it.

So the adventures begins....
Here's how it started..

He's sweet, He's a gentleman, he's another scary dream that seems too good to be true. But I like it anyways.. Honestly which girl wouldn't fall for such a charming guy? It isn't always about the looks or the money after all.. All it takes is good manners and the way he treats a lady.. No doubt he's doing it right.. For all I knew, girls kept sticking to him.. Hence the nightmare..

Of course from my past, I have major issues with my men with other girls.. The fear stucks to my brain like super glue and the anxiety strikes so often that I'm afraid to step in so I kept pushing the one thing that finally seems right in my life again.. the one thing that puts butterflies in my stomach.. the one guy that makes me smile but also scares me to death.. the fear of getting hurt or dumped again seems to haunt me.. But he seems to be so attracted somehow and doesn't seem like he was going to leave.. so I took the leap of faith to try.. maybe we could go somewhere.. This time round seems so different.. feels exciting.. anticipating on what we will go through.. He was so fun to be with I didn't really wanna let go..But the fact that the sparks will wear out some day bothers me..and True enough if you don't let go of the past, you'll bring the past along with you.. our relationship hit downfall on the 2nd month.. not surprising after all.. as It was imprinted in my brain that men is going to cheat and that feelings won't last forever.. Dissapointing but not surprised.. was so upset but at the same time I couldn't really feel the pain cause I'm probably used to it.. Again tears shed down.. and I just didn't wanna hope or believe again..

But then being me, I didn't wanna give up... I somehow still choose to believe that there is good in everyone.. everybody makes mistakes and I'm not any better than he is.. The reason why he did it was unclear but I guess some thing's are better left unsaid.. and so I chose to forgive despite the people around me calling me an idiot for doing that.. the saying goes once a cheater is always a cheater.. but does it count for a person who did it the first time probably out of curiousity? Who really knows? There was just something so charming about him I didn't wanna let go.. there was this curiousity in me wanting to know what happens next if I gave him another chance? There is still something in me that wants to prove myself and my thoughts  wrong all this while.. And I really hope someone could prove it to me.. There is still hope in relationships and there is someone to grow old with in this world..Call me naive but  I choose to forgive.. In this short period ,  surprisingly he's taught me to learn how to love myself more, guides me to grow up, teaches me to control my emotions better, making me responsible and because of that , the more I want to stick around him to see where we would go.

I mean where in the world to find such a guy who brings out the best in you, supports you and who's so patient with me being a bitch? So far in a 1000 he's one of the ones you hardly meet.. and I have never felt so comfortable being around someone in a long long while.. So once you forgive a person, the next thing you would do is to change and let things be it's way.. whatever that is meant to be will be.. I'm trying my best to not overthink and brush things aside.. taking things easy as it's still a long way more for me in life.. Thoughts of him doing it again haunts me but I guess when you choose to forgive someone you have to trust them again...Relationships are never easy..it's not just about the feelings but whether you want to make it work and commit... Eventhough I don't  know what we are now, we've never really talked about it after the arguments and confusions about the dating terms.. and the fact that he's going back to his motherland , where would this leads us? No one can really answer.. But what I know is I'm happy being around him, I like this guy and Its the best thing that happened to me in a while.. I would say a blessing in disguise..My backbone at this very moment..And this is a start of an adventure I would wanna go on with him  and see where we would be in future..

Sometimes things happens for a reason.. to make us stronger maybe.. or just an obstacle to see if we can make It through.. For all I know, Things are great now and I am appreciating the time I have with him.. I feel liberated and happy again! I thank god everyday for every blessing in my life that teaches me and guides me through life lessons.. Going on holiday trips with him is a bliss.. Little surprises from him makes my heart tingles..Waking up next to him makes my day.. The best thing is that when he stares into my eyes complimenting me everyday even when I'm not in my very best shape makes me feel warm in every way.. Finally someone can accept me for who I am and appreciates me for being alive in this world.. I'm truly blessed and I can never ask for more...

So here goes our little adventure together! Let's hope the next blog post will be a good one too!
Signing off! Xoxo!